2 Days......In A Row?

I didn't have time to work out this morning, but I did have time to work on the deck. I started by sorting the wood and getting all the boards I needed which were near the bottom of the stack. I then framed the main part. I have to finish securing the rest of the frame and make some adjustments. I made the mistakes I knew I made but I think I can make most of those disappear with the actual decking. My next biggest concern is the stairs. I don't think I will be able to attach them where the plans say to, nor do I think I want to attach them there. But I don't really have to worry about the stairs until next week. I hope to have at least one of the planks attached by Sunday (hopefully all of them). Next week will be the rails and the stairs. After the stair are done I will have to come up with a gate but if I can build a deck I can build a gate. My family has enjoyed the pool regardless, the deck will just make it that much more. Tanis is getting very good at swimming and diving.

Ok, I need to vent. I do not care where LeBron James goes just as long as he decides and I don't have to listen to it anymore. It has been non-stop. I think you would have been annoyed by this but probably would have asked me about the local perspective which seems to be stay or go just decide.

Mom is holding it together but I know she is very concerned and I feel bad because there isn't really anything I can do. I hope something changes so she can retire at some point but the stress now has postponed that.

A customer of mine does art restoration and pointed me in a direction to get the Poe lithograph restored. She told me to look into it's value first as Poe stuff is highly sought after right now. I never even thought it could have some value but I do want to get it re-inked if I can. I wish I remembered more about what you said about the print. I also thought about the cigar box lids you used to have and wonder what ever happened to those, I always thought those were pretty cool. Love ya guy!

Back to basics

A lot of time goes between posts! I forget the main reason i started this blog was to have conversations with you. I miss you and know that a lot of the family could use you right now. Things are kind of crazy for mom but I respect her for what she does. the two of you taught me never to turn my back when someone needs help. We all have been hurt by this but know to do the right thing isn't easy. Okay so I am dodging details to keep the peace but I want to thank you for the lessons you taught me. I am still struggling with the final lesson and do not know why I can get focused on getting healthy.

So, lets catch up. A week ago I rented a post hole digger and started to build a deck for my pool. It is going okay but it would help if I could learn to cut a straight line. I have a target of next Sunday for the deck to be finished. I could have used some advice for building it but my boss Joey has been helpful in his suggestions.

Tom Izzo says Michigan is his home and he will stay there.

Work has been crazy a lot of people on vacation so a lot of extra work.

Last week I got a Tempurpedic bed and am trying to get used to it. So far it has been okay but not 100% yet.

Today I found one of the accessories for my Hummer that I have wanted and it is very affordable. I hope to be able to order it by the end of the month, it is a chrome Hummer emblem for the front of the car.

Tanis is doing well and has started riding grown up roller coasters this year. So far he has ridden the: Gemini, Magnum XL200, Wild Cat, Blue Streak...I think that is it so far. He liked them all but his favorite is the Wild Cat (mainly because he has wanted to ride that one for years).

Our party is planned for August 8th and we are looking forward to it. Kellie is trying to paint the outside the house in time for the party but heat and weather have wreaked havoc with her plans.

For Fathers day mom sent me a card that you had bought. It was a very bittersweet moment, a flood of emotions. It was like having you there for a moment. Father's day was amazing because we went fishing and Tanis actually caught 2 blue gills and I caught nothing. He had a blast and told mom all about it. Love ya guy.

Tom Izzo

Tom Izzo is being courted by the Cleveland Cavaliers, as of this post he has not decided yet. I will not be happy about this. The Red Wings were knocked out in the second round of the Cup. The Tigers are doing okay. Love ya guy.

New Post....A New Begining?

It is not that I haven't had anything to say. I have been in a funk and surrounded by people in a funk. I have tried to stay positive, but I haven't really exercised for a week and a half. I don't know why I find the need to sabotage myself. I make some real headway and then I lose my way. I find myself looking for something again. I don't know what it is but as usual I turn to food. One more this one more that it will fill the emptiness. It never does. I have had a lot of loss in my life and am not sure I am strong enough. We should be having another baby any day now but that didn't turn out. I should be able to talk to you face to face but that didn't turn out. This past weekend was the second annual memorial golf outing for you, I was not able to go but I am not sure I could have done it. I keep telling myself I forgive you but some days it is very hard. The thing you could have done for me I can't do for my son. At some point this is going to have to change or I will be gone. I guess this is a little heavier than I wanted it to be, but I really need to find a place to express myself. So much crazy is going on right now. Love ya guy.

Sparty

Saturday was the final four game and Sparty lost. It was a BAD game and we deserved to lose, but I am proud they made it to the final four. The Red Wings are struggling for a playoff spot. The Tigers start the season today against the Royals. And the Pistons are rebuilding I guess. Love ya guy.

Forgiven

Yesterday was Easter. It was another holiday I didn't get spend with you. I had finished reading The Shack a couple of weeks ago and this post has been brewing since. I realized I needed to forgive you for leaving me. That is the real anger I have, I am mad that you left me. I really do forgive you and when I say it out loud I feel better. I really do forgive you, and I know I will see you again. I will get by without you physically being here. Once I let the anger go it was amazing to feel the happy memories. I also forgave God yesterday for taking the children away from Kellie and me. It feels strange to forgive God but I don't want the anger anymore. I want to feel the healing and to know in my heart that there is a good reason that bad things happen. I am not going to stop talking to you, but I think I can take the anger out of it now. I do forgive you and I do miss you. Love ya guy.

Which way to look

Today has been a mildly retrospective day. I have definitely looked back. I viewed pictures of you and had some good memories. But today is one of those days where time doesn't feel linear because at the same time i wondered what my son will think of me. It was amazing last night when I held him and he started to fall asleep in my arms, he hasn't done that in a long time. As I looked around the kitchen and saw my family and my house I realized why I do what I do. See yesterday was an extremely draining day. Work kicked my ass and I was down but my family made me happy quickly. This was an older post I never published. Love ya guy.