Where am I

I don't know where I am. It has been a year and a half basically since you passed. I am still mad at you because you just had to pull that line. You couldn't let yourself heal, you robbed me and my son of ever getting to know you. That is why I am mad. You didn't have to die, that facility should have kept a better eye on you, they should have listened to the tube and made sure. You have left an extreme void in my life, and I don't know how to fill it. What I have been doing isn't smart or helping. I don't want to see you for a long time, but if I don't change things I will probably see you soon. I want to talk to you on my terms. I want you to know you are not forgotten, but you left a lot of people with a hole in their hearts where you used to be. I miss you everyday, I think about you in some way everyday. I need to be mad at you for awhile right now, I need to use my anger to snap myself out of my own funk. You are gone, and nothing will replace you and nothing will bring you back. My son will not really remember his grandpa Pancost and any other children I have will never know you. I will be mad at you for awhile. I will never stop loving you, but right now I am choosing anger. Love ya guy.