Why Am I Mad?

The truth is I am mad at myself. I think I have wallowed in self pity for too long. I stopped caring and shut down for a long time. I am mad at you, that hasn't changed, what has changed is I can truly voice it and understand it. I know all about the stages of grief and I have finally accepted your passing. I accept the loss, and accept that it didn't have to happen, but it did happen. I miss you. Anyway these postings will be more often and have a different tone. On Monday march 23rd I am starting a challenge for myself. I WILL LOSE 100 POUNDS IN 50 DAYS. I am not doing this for you, I am doing it for my son so he doesn't have to lose his dad too soon. I will post my progress hopefully everyday if not every couple of days. The challenge will be talked about in each post as well as other things. Things that we would have talked about if you were still here. Love ya guy.