November 2nd.... 4 years later

Tanis and I came to visit mom. Cheri and Alex went to lunch with us. We then went to get flowers, and as it turns out tiny pumpkins for you. Tanis and I decorated 2 little pumpkins with a marker and left them. Mom bought a potted hardy mum plant we left for you. I had to dig some dirt out of your memorial vase to allow for it to sit like it should. It was a little creepy digging in the dirt at a cemetery, and the dirt was hard to wash off. Tears were shed, and Tanis tried hard to cheer mom up, but he didn't really know how. It hasn't gotten any easier. This year more than past years it has weighed heavy on my mind and heart. I am still mad. It seems so senseless. I am mad I haven't learned from you and gotten myself healthy. I am mad that my sister is following you step for step. I am mad that you aren't here anymore. I am mad I have to remember November 2nd and the significance of it. Enough time has not passed, it still feels like a fresh wound. Love ya guy.