You Only Have One?

I get asked that question so many times when I talk to customers or am out. They see Tanis or hear about him and ask "you only have one?" It is an innocent question and I know people don't mean anything by it, but sometimes it cuts to the bone. We both wanted more children and have tried, but the miscarriages have almost destroyed our marriage and has definitely caused depression. People carry all kinds of pain bottled up inside that is never shared this is my pain. Kellie and I wanted more children, we have experienced pain that a lot of the world never has to go through. We know what it is like to go to the O.B. to hear a heart beat and instead get told that something went wrong and that it was just bad luck and that we are young enough we can try again. We have spent most of our 30's trying again and all we have to show for it is our awesome son. I am so thankful we have him but I wish we had a bigger family. I wish we had a daughter to walk down the aisle. Not six silent scars I carry on my heart. Scars that are torn open when someone says "you only have one?" It is an innocent question but it sounds so sarcastic and accusatory to me. Like you could only succeed once....ha ha your not a real man. The other statement that cuts is "you don't understand because you only have one child." Well I want to say to them you don't understand because you haven't been through 6 miscarriages. Your wife hasn't been pregnant for 100 weeks but only has one child. The pain I see in Kellie's eyes kills me, she is my world and I want to protect her and I don't even understand how hard it has been on her how much more painful it must be for her to lose a child. So I proudly and loudly say I only have one and I love him more than any other child in the world and I love my wife for giving him to me and I will be the man they both need me to be. Love ya guy!