It has been a little while

I made a big decision about you. I changed the name in my cell phone from parents to mom, and dad to pancost printing. I spent a bit of time agonizing over this. I miss you, but I think it was time. I put your baseballs and your Stanley cup in the basement on top of the gun safe. It has been a very warm winter so far, so I haven't used your snow blower much. Christmas was fun, but nobody received a Chow Chow calendar. I am going out to dinner tonight at the Eagles with my in-laws. This was a draft I thought I had lost, but I wanted to post it because it was a big deal to me. Although my personal cell phone still has parents. Damn, I miss you. You had an infectious smile. You could dominate a room, you were the guy people wanted to know, you were the guy that people remembered. I remember. I have had a lot of memories this week. As we talk about taking our first real family vacation I remember our vacations. I still remember the smell of the sand dollars as they were being bleached. I remember the miles long bridges in Florida. I remember snow on my birthday at Pikes Peak, I remember cooking lobsters in Maine. You were a great father, I know all of what you did you did for your family. I look back and realize that I never got to know you, everyone else in the room got to know you but I didn't. At your funeral I met some guy who knew you through the shop and he didn't know you had a son, he didn't know. I felt bad, that meant I wasn't around enough. I miss you, I know I will see you again, but I still miss you. Love ya guy.