Snakes why did it have to be snakes?

Okay so maybe that title grabs you a little. No this snit about Indiana Jones it is about growing up differently than my wife. I grew up around fireworks. In my youth I have set off just about everything you can buy. I was even safe with some of it. I have had a firecracker explode in my hand (it stays numb for several hours). I had a smoke bomb turn out to be a cherry bomb. I have witnessed very drunk grown ups trying to launch large rockets out of small beer bottles and almost lose a leg doing it (a touch of an exaggeration but I was like 12 at the time). I have launched bottle rocket through wrapping paper tubes at friends on purpose. I once.....well the statute of limitations isn't up on that one yet. So they brings me back to my wife buying snake fireworks for my son. I guess to an 8 year old they are pretty cool and I even let him light a few. But face it I described it as a turd you set on fire that then grows into a bigger turd. Someday I will have to host a pig roast and find a cache of way expired Mexican rockets to give to some enthusiastic but drunk men and my son can witness the fourth of July as only a young child can. Love ya guy!